How to Ask for Gifts you Won’t Have to Declutter
You’ve really thought about it this year. You’re finally going to get the house in order, new year new you. 2021 here we come. We’re going to replace silly, stocking junk with wholesome, eco-friendly gifts. Outdoor adventures instead of video games…
But then you realise you are about to receive an onslaught of presents from friends, aunties, grannies and work… probably more this year to make up for the absolute state of 2020. You feel defeated! Gifts can be decluttered discretely and kindly, but it’s hard.
![Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no (TikTok anyone?) [Photo by cottonbro from Pexels]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f047e0c2831441a544fe4cf/1607610040275-Y9EN12ZEZT41PIYZ8UJ2/Woman+carrying+large+pile+of+books+overwhelming)
Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no (TikTok anyone?) [Photo by cottonbro from Pexels]
How am I going to break it to them that we don’t want their special, thoughtful… tack (see my friend Emma’s post on ‘crapjects’)? Won’t they be incredibly offended?? This can be especially true of significant others who want you to feel loved by showering you with gifts - it could be one reason they don’t even want to talk about decluttering.
Never fear, I’ve been there and I will be your sword wielding ranger from the north (that’s Aragorn, below) - let’s tell them what we want, what we need and help them to help us this Christmas.
Here’s how to get few gifts, that you actually want to keep in your house:
(Just so you know: Some links in this post are affiliate links, which means that if you click on them and buy something I may get a small commission. Thank you for supporting my small business in this way!)
Give them options - Wish Lists
They just want to show you love! So give them options that you know you’ll like. A friend of mine told me she and her husband have ongoing Pinterest boards full of gift ideas so they always get what they want, but there is still an element of surprise.
We’ve adopted this is the form of wish lists - I can do all the Christmas shopping for my husband in one hour looking at his record list, book list (here are some inspiring decluttering books) and music tech list. It’s the best!
2. Ask for consumables or experiences
Ask for things that can be enjoyed and then used up, so they don’t have to take up space forever. I like to get fancy toiletries sets (here are some creative ways to use them), candles, chocolates, beauty treatments and fancy food like jams to make winter extra cosy.
What’s nice about this is that they can get you something slightly upmarket that you wouldn’t normally get for yourself, so you can really feel pampered. You can also just get something really handy, like a subscription service to make life easier.
Why not ask for day trip out? You could take a coastal boat tour, a walking tour, or a trip to a gallery or museum. Even out to dinner is magical! My husband and I did a ‘Hidden Dublin’ tour one year and even though I’ve lived here all my life, I learned lots of cool facts to carry around with me smugly forever more.
Museum Photo by Riccardo Bresciani from Pexels
I used to always ask my brothers to take me to the cinema as a gift and we had a tradition of them making me the silliest homemade voucher to wrap. I’ll keep them forever.
3. Tell them what you have enough of
If you’ve been pigeon-holed for a certain kind of gift that you are now overwhelmed with (does that thought make you anxious?), you can casually drop into conversation that you have plenty now.
That’s enough bears now… Photo by Kha Ruxury from Pexels
My mother-in-law got me a vegan cook book every birthday and Christmas for a few years and now I think I have them all. It’s so so sweet to see her embracing my personal choices, but she always asks what I want now and I can tell her exactly.
You might not need any more soaps, plants, car maintenance stuff… or toys! Just kindly let them know and give them another option. Ask them what they have too much of back so they can see the benefit.
4. Change the game - Secret Santa
My family adopted Secret Santa three years ago - it has worked wonders for us. It’s amazing what can change when you look at things from a new perspective.
We’re a family with two parents, three grown up children and two spouses so pooling the money we would have spent on 5-6 people each to gift one special gift to one person yields a very nice outcome.
I’ve set up up on BoogSpace.com, where you can program who should not draw who e.g. I do not want to get my husband (I’m already getting him a gift), and Dad doesn’t want to get mum etc. It also remembers year after year so you can get a different person (as much as possible).
We ask our ‘Secret Santa’ to get us one of a small list of things in our family group chat so we always get what we need.
Then there is the gift swap ceremony which gives us that Christmas Day cheer! The only tricky bit is getting us all in one room. Also, this year I drew my brother and got him a rather large gift that he somehow will have to get back up to Belfast (hee hee).
5. Make it easy for you to choose or change
There is no shame in a gift card or voucher! If you are picky like me, you will want to choose just the thing.
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels
You could also drop a voucher for a local cafe, so they can enjoy their shopping trip with a nice hot beverage.
The other thing is that gift receipts are magic. Just like giving away does not equal ungrateful, neither does exchanging. Be polite, be discrete and do what you have to do to keep your house functional.
6. Start the conversation
The simplest and best advice I can give you is just to start the conversation. Text your mum and ask what she’d like, giving a list of things that would suit you and what you have plenty of.
Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels
You can drop in a short follow up saying that ‘we’ve realised we really do have everything we need and that we’d like to keep things simple this year, so if you could get me X or Y that would be perfect’. Ending with an ‘I love you and all you do’ rather than, ‘not like last year’ will go a long long way too ;P
Here’s how to to talk to your partner about clutter as a starting point:
Free Workbook to Download: How to Talk About Clutter
So there you have it, some handy ways to get gifts you won’t have to declutter in 2 months time. You know, one of the best things you can give is the opportunity to change your life forever - with a voucher for something that your sister or mum might not get for themselves.
I’m now offering Christmas decluttering vouchers so you can get an hour or a whole session of coaching for someone who might desperately need some expertise in this area - decluttering is so much easier when you have help to make a clear plan.
I offer both an in-home and virtual service (via Zoom call) which will adhere to all government safety guidelines. This year I’ve served families in Dublin, Fermanagh and even New York!
Rachel’s daughter got her a voucher last Christmas, here’s what she and her partner James had to say:
“Suzy arrived promptly & came into our house like a ray of sunshine yesterday
Surfaces freed up, there were subtle relocations, our moods brightened up hugely & we found things we’d lost weeks ago
The start of a wonderful transformation - we’re able to fall in love with our home again- so worth the time & cost.
Thank you, Suzy!"
- Rachel & James, Dublin
Click here to learn about the voucher options: